Jeffrey Ford posed an interesting question yesterday:

The one thing for certain about Black Bolt is that he was a kind of silent martyr figure. This was all heightened beyond recognition by the fact that if Black Bolt uttered one word, the entire universe would be destroyed. Shit, the bad guys always would get him and they’d torture him but he wouldn’t speak one word. It was some kind of weird bondage thing. Anyway, here’s the deal. Imagine this. You’re Black Bolt. You’re fed up with not speaking. You finally think to yourself, “Fuck it, I’m going for it.” But then you have to wittle down the one and only time you’ll ever speak to one, single word. Because as soon as you say it, you and everything else will be DESTROYED (can I get a cackle from Von Doom?) The question comes down to this — if you were Black Bolt, and you had one word to say, the only word you would ever get a chance to utter, what would it be?

My personal suggestion was “It’s —

Although there does seem to be disagreement over how much talking Black Bolt can actually do. I don’t know much about the character, but it looks like his voice, while a powerful weapon, isn’t exactly of the universe-destroying kind.

Still, I think Ford’s version is more interesting: a character denied a basic human contact, always yearning for it but resisting the temptation because the consequences are too great.

I’m reminded, actually, of a scene I’ve always liked in The World According to Garp:

Mom, it’s very simple. He can do wonders when he’s wearing his magic gloves. If his wife is sad, he touches her with his gloves, she’s happy. If his children are crying, he touches them, and they smile. But he can’t feel them! He yearns to feel. He can even hold off death with his magic gloves, but he can’t feel life. So, he takes off the gloves, and he dies. But, he finally feels life as he’s flying into the arms of death.

I think that’s more or less accurate. I haven’t seen the movie in years, and I could only find one source for the dialog online, but even if it’s not exact, it’s close to what I remember: a fleeting moment of contact, of life, paid for gladly with one’s death. I don’t think the scene appears anywhere in John Irving’s original novel, but I could be wrong.

So, if you were Jeffrey Ford’s Black Bolt, would you trade the universe’s destruction — or even just your own — for the chance to finally speak? And, if so, what would you say?

In the news: Seal found miles from sea:

Animal experts are baffled after the exhausted common seal was discovered near Borwick, Lancs, reports the Mirror.

A couple saw it from their car. They managed to get it in the vehicle and took it home before calling the RSPCA.

Animal collection officer Nick Green said: “It’s a mystery how it turned up in the middle of nowhere.

“It was about a mile from the River Lune and four miles from the sea.”

There were no grazes on the seal’s body to suggest it had crawled from the river.

Police suspect some sort of self-propelled internal-combustion engine-powered vehicle — a mo-to-car? That, or a very, very strong wind.

The Friday Random 10, “Just Another Friday” Edition:

  1. “Man O War” by Eric Bachmann
    The sea doesn’t care if you’re lonesome tonight
  2. “Cloudy” by Simon & Garfunkel
    From Tolstoy to Tinker Bell
  3. “Try a Little Tenderness” by Bing Crosby (or Otis Redding), guessed by Kim
    She has her grief and care
  4. “Dear Prudence” by the Beatles, guessed by Kim
    The clouds will be a daisy chain
  5. “Poem to a Horse” by Shakira
    Sounds like a cheap metaphor
  6. “Whirlpool” by They Might Be Giants (originally Meat Puppets), guessed by Remi
    It asked permission from its master to visit the lands beyond
  7. “This Cat’s on a Hot Tin Roof” by the Brian Setzer Orchestra
    I’ll kick and I’ll scratch and I’ll howl
  8. “Arc of Time” by Bright Eyes
    The fear of death expands
  9. “Boris the Spider” by the Who, guessed by Kim
    Pick this book up off the floor
  10. “Io Che Non Vivo” by Pino Dinaggio
    Come posso stare una vita senza te

Good luck! Last week’s answers posted soon here.