A Question-and-Answer Session
The following are all genuine questions taken from unreality.net search referrals. As a public service, I will periodically endeavor to answer some of them.
What film was banned in Norway for being too funny?
Kazaam, of all things. Which just goes to prove the old saying that there’s no accounting for Norwegian humor. Monty Python’s Life of Brian, on the other hand, was initially banned in the country for blasphemy, and it didn’t see release there until 1980. (Of course, the film was only released elsewhere in 1979, so it looks like the Nordes caved pretty fast.) In Sweden, a country that most Americans would probably mistake on a map for Norway anyhow, the movie was marketed memorably as “The film that is so funny that it was banned in Norway!” As for Shaquille O’Neal? The poor man can’t even step foot in Oslo without being overwhelmed by throngs of adoring fans.
How long can defrosted fish stay in the refrigerator?
Theoretically, forever, or at least until the refrigerator itself disintegrates or is burned up in the fiery death throes of our sun’s supernova. If, however, you plan on eating the fish, I’d suggest no more than two or three days.
Why does Shakespeare use foreshadowing?
I’ll tell you tomorrow, maybe.
What separates fish from man?
Generally speaking, the sea. More specifically, the ability to breathe underneath it unaided by technology. If you’re having trouble differentiating between men and fish — what your love life must be like! — use this as your handy guide: if it has fins, gills, scales, and a tendency to get eaten by other, larger swimming creatures, then it’s probably not a man. Unless, of course, it’s the incredible Henry Limpet, in which case the whole thing pretty much falls into disarray.
Is fanny sachs possible?
People, please. It’s “Are fanny sachs possible?” And the answer is, anything is possible. How bad do you want sachs on your fanny anyway?
Where to touch and see a monkey?
My guess would be the zoo. Monkey-touching elsewhere is likely to earn you some dirty looks and won’t get you invited back to any parties.
How to know when you’re a pirate?
Actually, I think I already answered this one. Arr!
What is “The Goophered Grapevine” about?
About ten pages, from what I remember.
How does Shakespeare use confusion within the play of Macbeth?
If I could answer that, it wouldn’t really be confusing, now would it? Okay. You know how he makes it so that Macbeth and Lady Macbeth don’t always know what’s going to happen and, by extension, neither do we, the audience? Yeah, that’s how.
What was the first novel Mark Twain wrote on his own called?
Again, Kazaam, which is just plumb odd when you think about it. Of course, it does explain all those Miami Heat references in Pudd’nhead Wilson.