Month: December 2005

From Reuters News:

“I feel like I’m getting really good advice from very capable people, and that people from all walks of life have informed me and informed those who advise me. And I feel very comfortable that I’m very aware of what’s going on,” Bush said.

Yeah, well, but isn’t that sort of part of the problem? Just because you feel you and the country aren’t being led astray, that doesn’t make it so. Obviously, the President can’t keep track of every story in the news, can’t read every morning paper cover to cover. Obviously he needs summaries, advisors. But couldn’t he have chosen ones who were, oh, I don’t know — good at their jobs?

I am amused that Reuters put this in their “Oddly Enough” section. He’s not literally inside a bubble, you know. (With a water bottle and small gerbil wheel or anything like that.) Now that would be odd news. Maybe they’re suggesting it’s odd simply because the man clearly is living inside a protective bubble. How wacky that he would suggest otherwise!

Apparently, there was a thirteenth episode of Fawlty Towers?

Q: Is the 13th episode, “The Robbers”, for real? If so, why do you think it was never broadcast, even in later years as a TV special?

A: I have absolutely no idea why the 13th episode, called The Robbers, has never been aired. I only know that I saw it once in Bill Morton’s flat not far from Piccadilly Circus on a particularly wet evening. Hadn’t it been for this, I might myself have doubted the otherwise striking authenticity of the script, reproduced in the book.

As things stand, I can only assure the reader that the show, as far as I remember, was amazing. Rarely have I seen John Cleese and his crew reach such continuous heights of sublime entertainment, and the only reason I can see for not wanting this episode to reach the fans, is that it would perhaps create the false impression that there was so much more to wring out of the material, whereas, in fact, the 13th episode represents the ultimate solution to the problem of how to carry this tormented universe to a happy end.

As concerns the reason for never admitting its existence, let alone airing it, I must refer the reader to the BBC. They should know why. And poor Bill. The last time I tried to call him he had a parrot recorded on his answering machine, exclaiming: P-off!

I may be missing the joke here, because, if the episode is for real, it’s tough to imagine it could actually languish in such complete obscurity at the BBC for thirty years. (Even weird television Holy Grails like that version of Alexander the Great starring William Shatner, Adam West, and John Cassavetes has seen some light of day.)

See, this is why I didn’t go to my office holiday party this evening.

But was there ever really a time when the Xerox machine — that perfidious usurper of the music industry’s potential income — was such a novel, newfangled contraption that “photocopying one’s bare buttocks” on it was the height of drunken office fraternization? Has any drunk, outside of a 1950s movie or television show, ever actually worn a lampshade to the delight of his co-workers or friends?

Once again, the Friday Random Guess 10:

  1. “The city’s aflood, and our love turns to rust”
    “Where the Streets Have No Name” by U2, guessed by Kim
  2. “Let me tell you every thought that I’ve come to”
    “Genetic” by Sonic Youth, guessed by Eric
  3. “Sometimes I think of my baby in Michigan.”
    “The Road” by Tenacious D, guessed by Kim and John
  4. “Can you raise both your hands and clap ’em?”
    “Mickey Mouse” by Sparks, guessed by Eric
  5. “I looked into you eyes and I could see that National Health eyeball”
    “You’ll Be Mine” by the Beatles, guessed by Kim
  6. “It’s a figure of speech when some artists start to teach”
    “Hear No Bullshit” by Chumbawamba featuring Credit to the Nation, guessed by Eric
  7. “You know I took some lumps when the Mighty Case struck out”
    “Centerfield” by John Fogerty, guessed by Betty
  8. “Understand we’ll go hand-in-hand, but we’ll walk alone in fear.”
    “Where Do We Go From Here?” by the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, guessed by Betty
  9. “My bags are waiting in the next life”
    “Readymade” by Beck, guessed by Kim
  10. “Yellow lorry slow, nowhere to go”
    “You Never Give Me Your Money” by the Beatles, guessed by Glen

There’s just two left from last week’s lyrics, and that’s #1 (“Sinaloa Cowboys” by Bruce Springsteen) and #7 (“Old Flames Can’t Hold a Candle to You” by Dolly Parton).

Incidentally, if the music industry has its way, this whole thing could get a little tougher to do every week. Lyrics I don’t already know or can’t easily understand probably wouldn’t make the cut. Apparently, a number of record labels don’t want you to know what their artists are singing about — unless, of course, you buy books of guitar tabs or sheet music from them directly. (Which makes me wonder, then, why they don’t make those books more readily available for purchase or download. And hey, what about all those thieving musicians who put copyrighted lyrics up on their own websites?! Somebody in management needs to start crackin’ that whip a little more often, methinks.)

Anyway, best of luck guessing this week’s lyrics.