“I like to say there are three things that are required for success as a writer…” Michael Chabon tells Writer’s Digest, “talent, luck, discipline. It can be in any combination, but there’s nothing you do to influence the first two. Discipline is the one element of those three things that you can control, and so that is the one that you have to focus on controlling, and you just have to hope and trust in the other two.”

I have decided to heed Neil Gaiman’s advice, which is actually Daniel Pinkwater’s advice, on curing writer’s block. “He goes down to his study,” Gaiman says of Pinkwater, “and sits down in front of the computer, and he has to be there for a certain amount of time. He can either write, or he can do nothing, but he can’t do anything else. No reading books, no doodling, no browsing the internet or making phone calls. He can write, or he can just sit there. Pretty soon, he gets bored of just sitting there, so he writes.”

Every now and then, for whatever reason, I get spam written in other languages. It’s weird — except for un petit peu de francais, I don’t speak any other languages — but who am I to argue with their tactics? It’s not as if I’d be any less quick to delete them if they were written in English. Today, I got bored, so I headed over to Altavista’s translator and deciphered the following e-mail written, apparently, in Korean:

Interest to read the parturition attachment anger work which is in the western sea ocean ‘ island travel ‘. Specially ‘ in the uninhabited island ‘ the heirloom, when it is a minute when it wants the good chance is thought will become. This mail address sending whole aspect is reply to send with the mail address which is to attachment anger work.

There was no attachment, parturition-related or otherwise, but I guess that’s just as well. I’m reminded of the equally awful translation* I performed for the “Constitutional Peasant” scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail last semester for the Penn State Monty Python Society. Other languages are funny.

* Also available in all its glory as an MS Word document