I’m very happy to be off from work tomorrow, but I do wish it was for something more fun than a doctor’s appointment. My original plan, weeks ago, was to be off next Friday, just one in several long weekends planned for the rest of the year. I have vacation time I need to burn up before January. But then the whole thing with my back and the radiating discomfort it can cause started up again in earnest, and I made an appointment with my spine doctor. I’m worried that not much will come of tomorrow’s appointment, that I’ll tell him my symptoms and, at best, he’ll be able to say how likely it is they’re being caused by the herniated disc. There’s actually little of what I’d classify as “back pain;” for me, the problem have almost always been when the disc pinches the surrounding nerves and causes weird and unfortunate symptoms. Symptoms that in this case, I must say, could be indicative of other, unrelated problems. (Although the other symptoms that would usually accompany those problems so far haven’t, as far as I’ve noticed.)
I don’t think he’ll be able to tell me anything with conviction, however, without a new MRI. I’m not a fan of that procedure, at all, but if it’s necessary of course I’ll do it. But I do worry about how long I’ll have to wait for that appointment, plus the follow-up with the spine doctor to discuss the scan, plus any follow-up I might then need for treatment. And that’s leaving aside, for the moment, the very real possibility that treatment will involve — or even be limited to — surgical options. Or that the MRI will suggest that nothing has changed, that the disc doesn’t seem to be causing my new symptoms, and I’ll be back to square one.
I think I’d be less worried if I knew that tomorrow’s appointment would probably offer me some kind of battle plan — maybe a potentially dangerous and last-resort kind of plan (like spinal surgery), but a plan nonetheless. But I suspect it will come down to just, “well, let’s see what the MRI says,” and that will push me into next week, and probably even further than that, before we get anything like answers or relief.
And, of course, I’ll have to schedule vacation time (and/or my few remaining sick days) around a string of follow-up appointments. It’s got to be done, especially if this is potentially more serious than some intermittent (if persistent) discomfort, but I’d be lying if I said the whole thing didn’t make me nervous and worried.
I like my spine doctor, even though I haven’t seen him in about a year and a half, so I’m going to try to be optimistic about tomorrow afternoon’s appointment.
And hey, at least it means I get to sleep in late tomorrow. That’s something, right?
