Which is not to say that I want to write poorly, or that I think poor writing is a respectable goal. It’s just that my biggest hang-up as a writer is worrying over my words until I run up against a brick wall and can’t write anything. I’m too much of a perfectionist — and, worse yet, I lack the patience and committment required to make things perfect. So what I need to do is just write and worry about making it perfect (or at least better) the second, third, or five-hundreth time around.

At the very least, I want to continue working on the stories I’ve been writing at 600 seconds. Of course, come to think of it, I’m not really interested in doing the very least this year. So I’m just going to make sure I find an hour every day when I can sit down with pen and paper and write.

I also want to start eating better. I was, shortly before I moved in July. I was cutting calories, eating more fruits and vegetables, I was exercising five, six, or seven times a week. I want to lose thirty or forty pounds, for both health and self-image reasons. So I started to set attainable goals and follow through on them.

I got into a nice pattern of running after work, which was do-able when there was a free indoor track, free locker rooms, and free parking less than five minutes from where I worked. Now, when I don’t get home until after 6 or 7 and don’t have a gym to which I can go…not so much. I’m eating too much and I haven’t exercised since I’ve been home. I don’t feel healthy.

So I’m going to work on that. My employer offers discounts on gyms, as does my health insurance, so I may be able to find something that fits my schedule and needs.

I also need to continue looking for new opportunities and work. New York is a good stepping stone, a good experience, and I like my new job, but I can’t see doing this — by which I mean the sum of this, the whole of my New York experience — for years to come.

I have no idea if 2005 will be any better than 2004, but I suppose that’s a good part of what makes new years so interesting.

Luckily, we also get Martin Luther King’s birthday off.

For a short while there, I was starting to remember the part I liked about being unemployed. Sleeping late is definitely a good.

We critics often wish (or say we wish) that the discussion of movies – and the movies themselves – were more socially relevant, more political, more in tune with what’s going on in the world. This year that wish came true, and it made me appreciate the value of escapism – or at least of popular art that maintains a happy distance from contentious realities. Don’t get me wrong: I was fascinated by the intensity of argument about “The Passion of the Christ” and “Fahrenheit 9/11,” and curious about the skirmishes that sprang up around “Team America” and “The Incredibles.” But at the same time, the assumption that the most interesting interpretation of any cultural artifact or work of art must be the ideological one – is “The Incredibles” anti-affirmative action? Is “Troy” antiwar? Is “Shark Tale” pro-gay rights? – is one of the things that drove me from graduate school. The best movies, however political they may be, are always more than just political.