Is it wrong that this makes me so happy?
Month: January 2005
A spam header right now in my mailbox: “Re: deceased’. Some nonsensicality emerged”
Oh, those wacky, wacky zombies!
The spam in question unfortunately has nothing whatsoever to do with the dead emerging, zombified or not. Whatever happened to truth in advertising? If you promise zombies, you really should deliver on the zombies. Aparently the spam just wanted me to know that my “motrgage percent is fixed at a very high” — a fact the author of the message seems quite upset about, but which I think is frankly remarkable, given that I’ve never even bought a house.
Oh my god! Mommy, make the bad man go away!
(Seriously, think twice before you look at that. Probably not work-safe. Or sanity-safe. You’ve been forewarned.)
From the good ol’ search referrals: argument against voodoo magic.
Hmm.
Man: Is this the right room for a voodoo argument?
Mr. Vibrating: I hexed you once.
Man: No you haven’t.
Mr. Vibrating: Yes I have.
Man: When?
Mr. Vibrating: Just now.
And so on.
(Slams door. walks down corridor, opens next door.)
Man: Hello, I want to… Ooooh!
Spreaders: No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Aaarrrhhh, braaaiins. Try it again.
Man: Uuuwwhh!!
Spreaders: Better, Better, but Aaarrhh, Aaarrhh! Eat the brains right there.
Man: No. Waaaaah!!!
Spreaders: Good, Good! That’s it.
Man: Stop hitting me!!
Spreaders: What?
Man: Stop hitting me!!
Spreaders: Stop hitting you?
Man: Yes!
Spreaders: Why did you come in here then?
Man: I wanted to complain.
Spreaders: Oh no, that’s next door. It’s being-poked-like-a-voodoo-doll lessons in here.
Man: What a stupid concept.
Actually, I’d have to agree. I’m not quite sure why I bothered, except it seemed like an idea at the time.
This one (the “Weapons Shop Sketch”, nicked off of Angels from Another Pin) was certainly better.
And, while we’re speaking of weapons, did you know the hunt for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq is officially over? (It’s like Christmas it’s over so fast!) I certainly hadn’t heard — I mean, heck, it’s not as if they found anything — but that’s why there’s Generik, to tell me these things. Also from our friendly neighborhood commie pinko liberal capper (via Atrios) comes this handy comparison chart.
But getting back to my search referrals, here’s a question I found there the other day, which I’m passing along to you good folk: does holding a mirror in front of a fish change what a fish does?
Only if it’s one of those vain prima donna fish, methinks.