Month: July 2004

“Oh sure,” said my sister, who’s been home since May and goes back to school next month. “When you get home.”

We’ll see how that works out. It would be nice to go online from somewhere other than my parents’ bedroom (where they have their computer) and also not run up their phone bill in the process. High-speed internet has spoiled me.

So, for those of you just joining us, this is my last weekend in State College, my last full day alone before the move, and my last — for want of a better word — hurrah. I’ve lived in this town, first as a college student (and then not), for about nine long years, and since this isn’t really what I want my life to be like nine years from now, I’ve decided that it’s time to pick up and try my luck elsewhere.

I don’t know that New York, much less living with my parents, is the elsewhere that I had in mind, but it’s where I’m headed, at least for the short term. For a lot of this past year, I’ve been sending out resumes and applications for writing, editing, or clerical work in Austin, TX, but it’s been really tough getting my foot in the door when I’m more than halfway across the country. I don’t know that Texas is where I want to go either, but right now I’d much rather be moving there, only to find out a year later I don’t like it, than doing the same thing in New York.

But anyway, New York is where I’m headed. Tomorrow, my parents (along with my aunt and uncle) drive out to help me with the move, and by Monday night it’ll all be over.

This is where I was going to include a list of all the things I’ll miss about State College, but the truth is I haven’t been able to come up with much of a list. I’ll miss the Monty Python Society, obviously, but I’ve already said my goodbyes, and it’s been about three months now since we last met. I’ll miss the local comic book store, but I haven’t been going in as often lately, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to find some kind of substitute on Long Island. (Even if the stores I remember there were much more limited.) I’ll miss the people I work with, but I don’t have any real close friends among them, and leaving my job is a lot of why I’m leaving State College. I’ll miss the chicken caesar sandwich at the local Wegman’s supermarket, but that alone isn’t a good enough reason to stay in Pennsylvania, now is it?

The truth is, for the most part what I’ll miss most about State College are the things that I’d miss about almost anywhere if I was going to be spending the next few months (or, god help me, years) living with my parents. There are things I like about State College, and I’m sure there are things I’ll remember fondly when I’m gone, but in trying to come up with that list I had to wonder, are these really the things that mean the most to me about this place? A small group of silly people, a comic book store, the familiarity of work, and a supermarket’s chicken sandwich? Is that what’s been keeping me here these past five years after graduation?

I don’t know. There are a lot of reasons why I’ve stayed, or at least I like to think there are. There are a lot of reasons why New York might be the right choice, why it might be the better option (in the short or even long term) than Texas, why living with my parents again after all this time won’t be the end of the world. There are probably a lot of things I’ll miss about State College that don’t fit neatly on a list, that won’t fit neatly in any of my boxes, and that I won’t recongize until I’m finally gone.