I have a lot of fun writing ten-second fiction for 600 seconds. I’m never entirely sure what my brain is going to come up with, and the knowledge that I have to come up with something forces me to write. Today, I wrote this, which was fun, and then, because there were ideas still bouncing around my head, I wrote the short-short story below. I decided to post it here just for a change. I hope you enjoy.

They called themselves the uaomons, although their true name, they said, could not be pronounced with our tongues. We found them on one of the planets closest to their sun. They, too, were explorers, they said. They had never left the face of their planet — indeed, had only recently begun to dream that such things were possible — but they claimed to have arrived from distant shores and traveled other continents. They showed us their vessel, built of iron and thick wood, showed us the maps they had pieced together on their journey. They no longer believed the old stories, they said. Here there be dragons. Here lies the end of the world. They had seen their breath in the icy dawn of the north, had traveled west where their maps showed nothing but darkness and death. They were explorers, and they were not afraid when we showed them our ship and charted the course we had followed on our own system’s map. They were men of honor, they said, servants of their king. Our arrival filled them not with fear, but with wonder. It was the dawning of another age. They were wise, they were brave…

And they were delicious.

Yesterday, according to my stats, I received a total of eighteen hits from a weblog called the ShanMonster Page. And do you know why? Because someone else had found both of our sites by looking for “the best bland long hair vagina gallery”.

Now, look. I’ve searched for some strange things in my day, and I’ve seen some odd referrals pop up in my stats. But whoever you are, why-ever you’re here, please don’t come looking for things like that. The same goes for “steve guttenburg naked” and “twilight zone pictures natural nude”, all right? The less I have to post at Disturbing Search Requests, the better.

Whoever came here looking for “mongo never kill a customer“, though — keep up the good work.

The search function at Blogdex has been “temporarily disabled” for about two months now. I don’t think it’s coming back. I guess that’s okay — I really only ever used it to stroke my ego and see if any strangers had linked to me, which they never had — but would it kill him to update his error message?

“Just repeat to yourself it’s just a show, I should really just relax…”

Wow. Apparently, the first season on “24” is already set to come out on DVD on September 17. Then season two will premiere just a little over a month later. This is very neat.

Now I’ve just got to work out whether or not I’m getting my “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” fix from the same source this year…

I’m so used to having to uncheck those automatic “Send me more information on…” boxes you get whenever you register or order something online, it’s a genuine shock when they’re already empty. I’m almost tempted to sign up for this Cambridge University Press newsletter just because they didn’t make me jump through hoops to tell them I didn’t want it.