“A policeman’s job is only easy in a police state.”

We had Chinese food for dinner tonight, my parents and me. Afterward, my fortune read, “A feather in the hand is better than a bird in the air.” Not quite “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,” but I think that was the general intended gist.

Shortly before that, my father and I attended an Eagle Scout court of honor at the local high school. I didn’t know the boy in question, or practically anybody else there either, but it’s nice to go out and show our support. And my father, who’s remained somewhat active in the troop — and who was very active for maybe twice as long as I ever was, staying on as Scoutmaster even after I graduated high school — was invited. So, as a former Eagle Scout myself, I tagged along. I didn’t know, but maybe should have, that they would be asking all former Eagle Scouts to go up on stage and re-pledge ourselves to the Scout oath. That was all well and fine, since all we had to do was try and repeat what we heard read aloud to us. But I was one of only three people walking up there, and the only one not directly involved in the court of honor itself. The other two were listed by name in the program, and I felt a little conspicuous, like I was there trying to steal somebody’s thunder.

Still, overall the ceremony was quite nice, and it’s good to see the troop — somewhat unrecognizable to me, these sixteen years later — continuing to be active in the community*.

After dinner, I watched the terrific Touch of Evil, staring Charlton Heston and Orson Welles. Here’s what Roger Ebert had to say about it:

Yet the film has always been a favorite of those who enjoy visual and dramatic flamboyance. “I’d seen the film four or five times before I noticed the story,” the director Peter Bogdanovich once told his friend Orson. “That speaks well for the story,” Welles rumbled sarcastically, but Bogdanovich replied, “No, no–I mean I was looking at the direction.”

That might be the best approach for anyone seeing the film for the first time: to set aside the labyrinthine plot, and simply admire what is on the screen. The movie begins with one of the most famous shots ever made, following a car with a bomb in its trunk for three minutes and 20 seconds. And it has other virtuoso camera movements, including an unbroken interrogation in a cramped room, and one that begins in the street and follows the characters through a lobby and into an elevator. The British critic Damian Cannon writes of its “spatial choreography,” in which “every position and movement latches together into a cogent whole.”

Welles and his cinematographer, Russell Metty, were not simply showing off. The destinies of all of the main characters are tangled from beginning to end, and the photography makes that point by trapping them in the same shots, or tying them together through cuts that match and resonate. The story moves not in a straight line, but as a series of loops and coils.

And to think, I almost didn’t watch it, worried I wouldn’t like it.

* Though I do have to admit to being just slightly weirded-out by the whole Order of the Arrow business, despite having been a not very active member of it myself. (I was a Brotherhood member, but never attended more than a handful of Order meetings.) I know that it’s not in any way intentionally racist, and the ideals expressed by its members this evening were all excellent. But I can see how the hodgepodge of stereotypical, noble-savage trappings might make some people — particularly actual Native Americans — uncomfortable. It didn’t make me uncomfortable, and I was happy to accept it all in the context in which it was meant. It just gave me pause for thought.

Also, it’s funny how you can spend the first twelve years of your life, saying the Pledge of Allegiance practically every day, at school and in Scouting, and then practically never have occasion to say it again.

Tuesday various

  • Lots of people are pointing out why retroactively censoring Huckleberry Finn is a bad idea, but I think I like what Gerry Canavan says most:

    If we’re going to retroactively censor Mark Twain, I’d say “slave” seems significantly more offensive to me than “n*gger” insofar as it accedes to the noxious proposition that some people can be slaves in the first place. People can be enslaved, of course—but no person is a slave. In my own rare writing and teaching on slavery I try to favor “so-called slave” and “enslaved person” in a quiet effort to highlight that slavery is not an essence but a structure of violent domination.

    It’s not the fact that we’re still having this conversation that bothers me — we should have continued and open discussions about race — it’s that we’re still faced with people who think not discussing it, pretending the words we don’t like don’t exist, is the right way to go.

  • In happier news, Nel Gaiman and Amanda Palmer are married. As Patton Oswalt writes:

    Marriage of @amandapalmer and @neilhimself confirmed. Like the Hatfield/Coy War, the Nerd/Goth schism is laid to rest — by love!

  • And in other amusing, geeky wedding news, Doctor Who‘s David Tennant is engaged to one-time co-star Georgia Moffett. As Peter David amusingly notes:

    The Tenth Doctor is going to be marrying his own daughter who also happens to be the daughter of the Fifth Doctor and Trillian from the TV version of “Hitchhiker.”

    Most meta engagement EV-er.

  • Speaking of Doctor Who, these one-of-a-kind nesting dolls may very well be the coolest thing ever. [via]
  • And finally, Udo Kier…honestly, in interview, the man comes across like he’s playing an Udo Kier character — erudite, macabre, and often delightfully unhinged:

    I cannot answer you, because it’s totally unknown to me what you just asked me, and also very boring.

Monday various

  • Caitlin R. Kiernan on coincidence:

    Coincidence is a constantly occurring phenomenon with a bad rap. Lots of people treat it’s like a dirty word, or something rationalists invoke simply to dispel so-called supernatural events. And yet, an almost infinite number of events coincide during any every nanosecond of the cosmos’ existence. We only get freaked out and belligerent over the one’s we notice, the ones we need (for whatever reason) to invest with some special significance. Co-occurrence should not be taken for correlation any more than correlation should be mistaken for causation.

  • Although you have to admit, with all the weird news of Arkansas recently, it’s tempting to look for correlations and common causes.

  • Theodora Goss raises an interesting question — namely, does fantasy writing, with its made-up languages and grammars, present unique challenges for copyeditors?
  • Peter David on why Aquaman is actually cool.
  • David Forbes re-examines Frank Herbert’s Dune. It’s fascinating, not least of all for its glimpse at the original edition’s semi-ridiculous back cover copy:

    A page of medieval history? Not quite. Duke Leto Atreides is moving from a planet, which he owns, to another planet, which he has been given in exchange. The Emperor, Shaddam IV, is Emperor of the known Universe, not a country. And Duke Leto’s son, Paul, is not a normal noble heir. In fact, he is so little normal in any way that he happens to be possible key to all human rule, power and indeed knowledge! [via]

  • And finally, a fascinating look at Yogi Bear — and there’s a phrase I never thought I’d write — as District 9:

    Yogi Bear is not a kids’ movie. It is a bleak futurist parable about humanity’s inability to accept a non-human sapience. It is also about a bear who wears a hat. [via]

A whole new year

A brand new year means a brand new “Forgotten English” desk calendar, and the delightfully archaic word for today is “scurryfunge,” which reportedly means:

A hasty tidying of the house between the time you see a neighbor and the time she knocks on the door.

Overall, today was enough like yesterday, and many of the other days before it, frankly, to make me think this whole “new year” thing is perhaps just some kind of arbitrary social construction. Last night, I had dinner out with my parents, then spent some time watching the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode The Final Sacrifice. I don’t know that it actually is, as they claimed, “the worst thing to ever come out of Canada,” but it was a terrible, terrible movie. Yet they were in fine form riffing on it, and it’s easily one of the funniest episodes of the show I’ve seen. Canada takes a lot of good-natured ribbing throughout — “Bobo ate a bad can of Canadian bacon and he came down with hockey hair…” — but in the DVD extras, Zap Rowsdower himself, Bruce J. Mitchell, comes across as a really likable guy with no hard feelings towards Mike and the bots.

Today, I spent a little time writing and a little time reading — not as much as I’d have liked to of either, but enough to get hopefully get me back into the swing of things. I did precious little of either — of anything, now that I think about it — over this two-week vacation.

And then this evening, I watched the 1985 horror movie Fright Night, which I guess was okay. I think if I’d seen it in the ’80s or shortly thereafter, when I was younger (and effects were not perhaps significantly better), I might have liked it more. Roddy MacDowall’s quite good in it, though, and it has its moments.

And that was Saturday. Tomorrow’s the last day of my vacation before I head back to work. Yay?

2010 in movies

I watched 61 movies this year. It’s often easier, and maybe more fun, talking about the movies that I hated, or that didn’t work, than the “best” movies of any given year. So, with that in mind, here are some dishonorable mentions for 2010:

1. Daybreakers

As I wrote back in January:

It has an intriguing premise, and a well imagined world in its vampire society that comments nicely on our own, but it’s boring and badly plotted as a story. It’s inventive visually, until it starts just being annoying visually, and by the end I was just looking for the door. If it had been the movie like it seemed it was going to be in its first twenty minutes, however, it could have been something.

2. Murderland

A British TV miniseries, which I didn’t think was all that great back in March. I watched it mostly for Robbie Coltrane, who I’ve liked quite a lot before, but who’s largely wasted. I’m including it here because, since then, I had completely forgotten it. I had to look it up just to remember what it was about.

3. Jennifer’s Body

Dear lord, was this an awful train wreck of a movie.

4. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

One of the worst movies I saw this year, but also, perversely, one of my biggest guilty pleasures. I had an absolute blast live-tweeting the experience — “There is no CGI in Team.” — and I don’t care what anybody says, I would willingly watch that movie again. But it is unspeakably stupid.

5. Survival of the Dead

Oh, how it pains me to include a George Romero zombie film on this list. Lord knows I defended him, through Land of the Dead and Diary of the Dead both, but this is just him going through the motions — and not particularly well. What makes the best of Romero’s zombie films work is that, beneath the gore and shambling corpses, he has something socially relevant to say. Here, not so as you would notice.

6. Resident Evil: Apocalypse

This could have been another guilty pleasure, had it not been so stingy on the pleasure. As I wrote back in October, I found it aggressively mediocre more than anything else.

7. Funny People

Not a terrible movie — in fact, there’s a fair amount to like about it — but ultimately it’s a disappointing mess that never figures out what it wants to do, or be. I don’t think I’ve ever longed for a movie to be more formulaic, but this really needed something guiding its course.

8. MacGruber

Again, not a terrible movie. Some scattered parts of it even edge right up to brilliance. But so disappointing, and for long stretches not particularly funny. There’s a difference between parodying something and fetishizing it, and MacGruber falls too often on the wrong side of that equation.

9. Dr. Phibes Rises Again

The original was great fun, but, aside from one or two very brief moments, this sequel was just a tedious mess.

10. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Iron Man 2

Again, not terrible — with few exceptions, all noted above, I didn’t really see a lot of terrible movies this year — but both quite disappointing. The former in pretty much all the same ways as the disappointing novel; the latter mostly just because it almost never slows down from setting up future movie franchises to be its own movie.

But, if you’re really wondering, the best movies I saw this year probably were:

  1. The Hurt Locker
  2. Up in the Air
  3. A Serious Man
  4. Inception
  5. Shutter Island
  6. Mother
  7. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
  8. Winter’s Bone
  9. Exit Through the Gift Shop
  10. The Bicycle Thief
  11. True Grit
  12. Rashomon

No real order, beyond maybe the order in which I watched them. Honorable mentions — maybe too many to mention — to Moon, The Signal, The Crazies (the remake), Passing Strange, Paranormal Activity, The House of the Devil, Pontypool, The Abominable Dr. Phibes (the original), Temple Grandin, Ondine, Ink, District 9, The Informant!, In the Loop, and The Human Centipede — the last if only for not being as terrible as I thought it would be. (And being a whole lot of fun to live-tweet with friends.)