Release the crack in…my windshield

Today was a pretty normal day, spent mostly not finishing the Sunday crossword, then joining my weekly writing group in Huntington. I had been planning on driving my own car, like normal, when I discovered a giant crack along the length of the windshield. Thanks to last weekend’s trip to Maryland for my sister’s birthday, plus all the snow and ice that happened subsequently, it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve driven my car. So I don’t know exactly how long the crack has been there, and I can only guess that it was caused by the lousy weather. I’m off tomorrow, for an early morning doctor’s appointment, so I’m going to see about getting it fixed. What fun.

Meanwhile, this evening, I re-watched Clash of the Titans, with the Rifftrax commentary. They made a noble effort, Mike, Kevin, and Bill, but that’s one movie that just can’t really be improved. It’s funny, though, seeing all the characters who were clearly meant to be important but who have such minor, inconsequential roles in the final film. Like, oh, the gods. Looking at the IMDB cast list is an exercise in bewilderment, as you discover lots of names you didn’t even know were in the movie. I suspect they cut two, maybe even three other crappy films in editing.

Anyway, here’s what I wrote in today’s writing group. We used this writing prompt from my friend Maurice, for our regular forty-minute free-writing exercise:

Bill’s mother was angry when he chopped down the tree in the front yard. He salted the earth, burned what was left of the wood, and then scattered the ashes at the crossroads a full mile from home. Bill’s mother was angry; she had always loved that oak tree; she could gaze at it from their kitchen window, and she and Bill’s father had carved their initials in its sturdy trunk the week they first bought the house. Bill agreed his actions might seem a little like overkill, that they might in fact defy understanding. But this was the only way he knew to make sure the telepath army from the future left him alone. This was the only way to keep those telekinetic bastards at bay. Surely his mother could understand that?

It had been difficult, this past year, for Bill’s mother. The doctors kept assuring her that, despite appearances, the tumor was ultimately benign; it was responding well to radiation, had been shrinking, sloughing off from the rest of the brain tissue. Bill should start experiencing less severe headaches, less frequent nausea, less vivid hallucinations. The time-traveling mind-readers from Earth Alpha Prime he had imagined, the murderous soldiers from 2385 who had been hounding him for more than a year, would start to pose less of a problem. The doctors assured Bill and his mother that the prognosis was good.

In the meantime, though, she was out a tree; Bill was still acting erratic, and the neighbors were starting to talk. And, waning hallucinations or not, that didn’t make the telepath army any less real.

They had been seen mostly in town so far; they had staged only a few excursions out here to the farm, for what Bill’s mother could have only described as reconnaissance. Why they had settled on Bill as their enemy — or future leader; it was never clear from their occasional talk which he was supposed to be — she couldn’t have said, except that they were ultimately his paranoid delusions, brought into being by his tumor, so why shouldn’t he be their driving focus? They kept mostly to themselves, had arrived en masse back in late October, and only very rarely displayed any of the future technology that Bill — or rather, his doctors had told her, his brain tumor — insisted made them so dangerous.

Paris, je t’aime

Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik A few weeks ago, I read Adam Gopnik’s collection of personal essays, Paris to the Moon. Over my winter break, I’d read a couple of articles by Gopnik in The New Yorker, something I had probably done on several occasions beforehand, given his long history with the magazine, but I had never really been aware of his name or byline before this. I liked the writing in the articles enough to go in search of something more.

Before I go any further, however, a word about writing in books.

In the past, and in general, I have been emphatically against it, although never for any specific reasons that I could adequately articulate. I knew it offended my aesthetic sensibilities, that although I had, on rare occasion, underlined a passage here and there, I had largely cured myself of the practice; I had come to see the intrusion of my own inked lines as a terrible affront to the writer, a devaluing of my hard-bought property, and the sort of crass vandalism best left to ignorant children and only half-literate philistines.

When I dug a little deeper, however, and actually questioned my reasoning, I discovered that this feeling was just that — a feeling — and as such it didn’t really have a leg to stand on. Writing in books wasn’t good or bad; there was no moral component to it, only an aesthetic choice, and it was largely an arbitrary choice at that. If I owned the book, I was free to do with it what I liked. If I wasn’t planning to resell it later on, or hoard the book in its pristine original condition like one might with a rare first edition or signed copy, then there was no reason I couldn’t take my own pen to its pages.

All of this came up with Gopnik’s book for the simple reason that I was finding a lot in it that I wanted to underline. Maybe it’s that the collection was born out of his New Yorker dispatches, and I’ve never had a similar compunction about writing in magazines, which are often by their nature more disposable. Of course, once I’d allowed myself the freedom to underline, I discovered a tendency to underline perhaps too much, to see everything as relevant. And of course the natural response to that is to underline less, to question the relevancy of everything, which can end up going too far in the other extreme. I tried to find a happy middle, underlining just the passages I genuinely wanted to remember.

So, anyway, here are those passages. Overall, I enjoyed Gopnik’s book, even if all these years later — he and his family went to Paris in 1995 — it can’t help but feel occasionally, oddly dated. It doesn’t fill me with any great (or at least increased) desire to see Paris, but I’m glad I read it.

Here’s Gopnik on the allure of Paris, the French who live there:

Americans, Henry James wrote, “are too apt to think that Paris is the celestial city,” and even if we don’t quite think that, some of us do think of it as the place where tickets are sold for the train to get you there….If this notion is pretty obviously unreal, and even hair-raisingly naïve, it has at least the excuse of not being original. When they die, Wilde wrote, all good Americans go to Paris. Some of us have always tried to get there early and beat the crowds.

What truly makes Paris beautiful is the intermingling of the monumental and the personal, the abstract and the footsore particular, it and you.

French civilization is all the more a miracle, given the obstacles the French put in its way.

French identity is not that hard to achieve; if you speak French, you feel French.

On technology, history, progress:

Popular memory may be short, but it is nothing compared with the amnesia of experts.

It is not so much that the phone transformed France and the car transformed America as that both fitted right in, as I suppose technologies must, with what people had wanted all along. Not new desires made by new machines but new machines matching the same old needs.

It was not just that you could not see the trees for the forest. It was that you could not see the forest because it was covered by a map.

We knew that our attempt to insist on a particular set of pleasures for our kid — to impose a childhood on our child — might be silly or inappropriate or even doomed. We couldn’t help it, entirely. The romance of your child’s childhood may be the last romance you can give up.

The presence of so much history ought to be unmanning or even just embarrassing. In Paris it isn’t, not because the past is so hallowed but because it doesn’t seem to be there. The unsentimental efficiency of French commonplace civilization, of which the French café is the highest embodiment, is so brisk that it disarms nostalgia. History keeps wiping the table off and asking you, a little impatiently, what you’ll have now.

On relationships, love, emotion:

Yet life is mostly lived by timid bodies at home, and since we see life as deeply in our pleasures as in our pains, we see the differences in lives as deeply there too.

For all the complaints about a new puritanism, the truth is that feminism in America has, by restoring the edge of unpredictability and danger to the way women behave and the way men react to that behavior, added to the total of tension on which desire depends. The edgy, complicated, reverse-spin coding of New York life — this skintight dress is not a come-on but its opposite, a declaration of independence meant not for you but for me — is unknown here.

We make our monsters according to the armature of our fears.

Loss, like distance, gives permission for romance. In a better-ordered Verona, Romeo and Juliet would have grown up to be just another couple at dinner.

On fashion:

“The fashionable exists only in relation to something that is not that way,” he went on. “The relationship between the modishness of the Flore and the unmodishness of the Deux Margots isn’t just possibly arbitrary. It’s necessarily arbitrary. If you place any two things side by side, one will become fashionable and the other will not. It’s a necessity determined by the entire idea of fashion. A world in which everything is fashionable is impossible to imagine, because it implies that there would be nothing to provide a contrast. The reason that when you place any two things side by side, one becomes chic and the other does not is that it’s in the nature of desire to choose, and to choose absolutely. That’s the mythological lesson of the great choice among the beauties: They are all beautiful — they are goddesses — and yet a man must choose. And what was the chooser’s name? Paris. C’est normal.”

Haute couture, everyone says, no longer has much to do with what normal women normally wear. The besetting sin of haute couture, though, is not unreality but corniness: not that it looks like things no woman would actually wear but that it looks exactly like what your aunt Ida always wears “for best” — that shiny black thing, say, covered with sequins and accompanied by a little shoulder-hugging jacket.

The clothes are extravagant and unreal, but they don’t seem camp. They don’t seem artificial or out of this world, just symbolic of a common human hope that the world could be something other than it is — younger and more musical and less exhausting and better lit. It proposes that the little moments of seduction on which, when we look back, so much of out life depends could unfold as formally as they deserve to, and all dressed up. It is as if we were wishing that the rituals of sex, those moments of painful sizing up, which begin with the thought That’s a nice dress, could pass by more consequentially, slowly — love walking down a runway instead of just meeting you outside the movie theater.

The line between art and kitsch is largely measured in ruin.

On writing:

If there is a fault in reporting, after all, it is not that it is too ephemeral but that it is not ephemeral enough, too quickly concerned with what seems big at the time to see what is small and more likely to linger. It is, I think, the journalist’s vice to believe that all history can instantly be reduced to experience…just as it is the scholar’s vice to believe that all experience can be reduced to history…

The essayist dreams of being a prism, though which other light passes, and fears ending up merely as a mirror, showing the same old face. He has only his Self to show and only himself to blame if it doesn’t show up well.

Writing is a business of saying things about stuff and saying things about things and then pretending that you have cooked one into the other.

I had spent my adult life believing that storytelling depends on the credibility of its details, and now, finally, I had made up a story that someone liked, and the details had no credibility at all, not existence except as sounds.

There is, I believe now, a force in stories, words in motion, that either drives them forward past things into feelings or doesn’t. Sometimes the words fly right over the fence and all the way out to the feelings. Make them do it one time out of three in private, and you’ve got a reputation as someone who can play a little, a dad who can tell a decent bedtime story. Do it three times out of three in public, and you’re Mark McGwire or Dickens.

Oh, and it’s good to know I’m in good company when it comes to writing in other people’s books.

Meanwhile, it is very cold outside…

Another pretty decent day, although I either pulled or slept poorly on my neck last night, and it’s been aching all day.

Looking back over that day, I don’t think I did a whole lot. I read, I worked on a surprisingly very easy Sunday crossword, and I went to my weekly writing group — where a forty-minute free-writing exercise of three random words produced this:

He was drunk off what was left of the wine — not a remarkable vintage, but a serviceable enough off-the-rack Merlot that complimented his serviceable, off-the-rack mood. Stacy had called it a Zenato ’96, but she had clearly misremembered, or else been duped into buying a bottle of this knock-off brand and never realized in the several years she had owned it. Brad knew even less about wine than she did, so he could only suppose it was an easy mistake. He could tell white wines from red, sweet fragrance from vinegar, but his prowess extended no further. Why should wine be any different than his life? He’d eyed the bottle Stacy’s note had offered — “there’s also beer in the fridge, some leftover Chinese” — as simply a means to an end. And though it was no great joy on the palette, and left him feeling like a bit of a lightweight, in that one respect it had not disappointed. He was well and truly drunk.

Though maybe “well and truly” was stretching things a bit. He was buzzed, and feeling pleasantly reckless, but not reckless enough to reach for the phone and get the whole sorry thing over with. There were limits even to supermarket red wine. Stacy probably wouldn’t even be in, now that he thought about it, or if she was, she’d be worried and want to know why he was calling. Had something happened to the apartment? Was Grace, her cat, okay? The very fact that he was thinking about this, and worrying himself that he’d be unable to explain why he’d picked up the phone at 5 a.m. her time and drunk-dialed, led him to suspect that he still wasn’t drunk enough to risk professing the truth. Nor did he have the necessary nerve to get that drunk.

He was looking after her apartment while she was away, assigned to work some sales conference in the United Kingdom, and staying here while his own place was being…well, he’d told her it was being repainted, but Brad knew that was only the first step before it was rented out to someone else. He and his landlord had spoken. The writing was on the soon to be repainted walls. It wasn’t so bad, though; Grace liked him, Stacy’s apartment was actually closer to the library where he worked, and how could you beat free wine and cold moo goo gai pan?

I really shouldn’t drink, he thought. It just makes me sad and even more than characteristically stupid.

More a character sketch than a story, but I had fun writing it, which is maybe the important thing.

“Very well, I’ll pause for thirty seconds while you cook up your alibis.”

I had a pretty nice day. I spent a good deal of it reading, finishing both Art Spiegelman’s In the Shadow of No Towers and David Mazzucchelli’s Asterios Polyp, a couple of recent graphic novels I picked up at the local library this morning. I enjoyed them both, although I think I’m perhaps a little glad that Spiegelman’s (nevertheless wonderfully drawn) book about fall of the Twin Towers feels just slightly dated. And I did some writing — or maybe I should more accurately call it transcribing, piecing together a story I found in an old notebook, which I’d given up, at least temporarily, for lost. I’m not sure exactly why it stalled out on me the first time — my natural proclivity to let stories stall out on me, perhaps — but I like it, and I think I’d like to see where it’s headed.

After dinner this evening, I watched Green for Danger, a delightful British murder mystery from 1946 set in a World War II hospital. Honestly, how can you not like a movie with exchanges like this?

Barnes: I gave nitrous oxide at first, to get him under.

Cockrill: Oh yes, stuff the dentist gives you, hmmm — commonly known as “laughing gas.”

Barnes: Used to be — actually the impurities cause the laughs.

Cockrill: Oh, just the same as in our music halls.

Thursday various

  • I don’t know why I find this particularly interesting, but I do:

    The post office ignores the return address for Netflix DVDs and sorts them separately for a Netflix truck to pick them up early in the morning for processing.

    Discs are shipped back to the nearest processing facility, regardless of the address on the return envelope; that address is there just for legal reasons, apparently. This seems like something I maybe sort of already knew, but it’s a reminder of the volume they (and by extension the post office) have to process.

  • John Seavey’s Open Letter to Zombie Story Writers:

    In essence, the human body is a machine, like an automobile. You are trying to describe the ways this machine can malfunction to produce a specific effect, and that’s good, but please stop explaining to me how it keeps going without wheels, gasoline, or a functioning engine.

    He raises some interesting points, although I don’t think they apply to the “zombies” in films like 28 Days Later, as he seems to. At least from my recollection — and I re-watched the movie pretty recently — the infected population there a) don’t act at all like George Romeroesque zombies (i.e., no human flesh, no brains), and b) don’t continue acting beyond physically believable limits. Beyond normal pain tolerances, sure — there’s the one guy who keeps running even though he’s literally on fire — but into the realm of sheer impossibility.

  • “What is, come with me if you want to live, Alex?” So you may have heard: a computer has won at Jeopardy. (There goes that Weird Al remix idea!) I’m still looking forward to the televised rematch next month, though perhaps not so much to the subsequent robot apocalypse.
  • It’s worth it for Goodnight Dune alone: Five Sci-Fi Children’s Books. [via]
  • And finally, Jeff VanderMeer on Everything You Need to Know to be a Fiction Writer.