In an e-mail entitled “The best spam ever”, Lianna writes: “Attract Men with Bigger Breasts!” Good deal! I want a guy with at least a C cup…

And in other news, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! I have no plans (unless you can count seriously looking for another job as Halloween plans), and the closest I came to a costume are black socks with ghosts and ghouls on them. Maybe I’ll have some candycorn at lunch.

The quote for today, which I will endeavor (but most likely fail) to work into everyday conversation is “It is laughable and desperate to bring back the screaming gorilla.” In context, it’s probably not as funny, but then again there is this picture, which is itself pretty entertaining. Thanks to fellow capper KINGDINOSAUR for the link.

And speaking of cappers, today marks the fifth anniversary of the Caption This!, part of the Sci-Fi Channel’s website and home to my all-time favorite online activity. I discovered Caption This! sometime in 1996, most likely after I was first introduced to Mystery Science Theater 3000. I have never removed it from my bookmarks–it was, in fact, for awhile my browser’s homepage–and few days go by when you won’t find me in the gallery, trying to be funny. I don’t think I can express how much I truly value CT and the people I have met online there. Especially since fellow capper Erik Wilson (aka Generik) has already done so much better than I ever could. In an e-mail yesterday he writes:

Five years ago, I knew almost none of you. Most of the people on this distribution list didn’t know any of the others. Had it not been for CT, it’s extremely likely that we still wouldn’t know one another. Whether that’s ultimately a good thing or a bad thing I’ll leave up to you to decide. Personally, I think it’s a pretty good thing. In that time, I’ve met quite a few people that I now think of as good friends, and I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Just think of all the events and occurences that have happened as a direct result of — or even peripherally because of — our involvement in a silly, but rather addicting, website. Bonds of friendship have been forged, relationships have formed, marriages have even taken place, all because we have gotten to know each other through the medium of putting funny quips to randomly-generated images on a computer.

In the early days of CT, we felt like we were all getting away with something, a bunch of subversives making each other laugh by poking fun at televised images of actors, advertising and infomercials. The group dynamic was one of conspiratiorial iconoclasm, deflating pomposity and slaughtering sacred cows wherever they were found. We could — and did — say anything, knowing that the only criterion was that it be funny.

Inevitably, the forum grew bigger as more and more people found out about it, and newer arrivals began to put their own stamp on the humor found on CT. We began to make connections, to contact each other through email and other means. There were ups and downs as the site — and we ourselves — evolved. Some of the low points included (and may still include) frozen screengrabs, deadlyringer, Cap Nazis, public squabbling in and out of the gallery, banner ads, pop-up ads and the recent weird code errors that keep showing up on every CT page. We lost a good friend, a funny capper and very talented cartoonist, when Jeff Myers, aka Widget, died a few years ago.

But there have been definite high points as well: real-life capper get-togethers in San Francisco, New York, St. Louis, New Orleans, LA, Seattle and Las Vegas, just to mention a few, have been great fun for those involved. A number of romances have bloomed through people getting to know one another online, courtesy of capping, and there have even been a few marriages that resulted. The establishment of the now-ubiquitous cap galleries, where archived caps are saved for posterity, is common. Old-time cappers credit GuloGulo with first discovering how to archive caps and with setting up the very first cap gallery, and major kudos to him for doing so. All web-managers with galleries owe him a debt of thanks, whether they acknowledge that or not.

Perhaps that’s the future of our community — and make no mistake, it IS a community — to continue to branch off and discover or create new capping venues for ourselves. We have established egroups and regular communication channels, real-life gatherings and other online enterprises far removed from just the capping experience (The Commune, for instance). But capping is still the common denominator. Of course, ultimately, we owe it all to Joel and Mike and the ‘bots, and the online phenomenon known as Caption This!, and that’s the purpose of my message today, to acknowledge that. I, for one, am proud to be a part of such an intelligent, diverse and above all *funny* group of people. Thanks to all of you, for everything.

I’ve taken to posting the more bizarre search queries from my referrer logs at Disturbing Search Requests. It’s a little scary sometimes what people are really looking for when they find my website. Here’s a quick sampling of what I’ve posted:

vagina pictures miro

Joan Miro (1893-1983): Spanish surrealist painter known for his use of brilliant pure color and the playful juxtaposition of delicate lines with abstract, often amebic shapes. Sure, sounds vaginal enough to me. But I’m afraid this, number five on Google’s list, doesn’t have the pictures you’re looking for, buddy boy.

steve guttenburg crotch

I don’t know what worries me more: that someone was looking for Steve Guttenberg’s crotch; that the words Steve, Guttenburg, and crotch actually appear on my website; or that if you spell the name correctly Google will offer you no less than forty-two separate possibilities. The man brought us Police Academy, people. Haven’t we suffered enough?

german dungeon porn

Mom? If you were in a German Scheisse video, you… you’d tell me, wouldn’t you…? How cliche can you get? My website probably isn’t what you’re looking for, buddy boy. Unless, of course, you really were looking for this.

hazing naked

There’s another way?

big teat

A man (or woman) who knows what he wants. Alas, this probably isn’t it.

area 51 hooters

Hmm. I didn’t know there even was a Hooters restaurant in Roswell. Shows what I know.