Do you wear a lot of hats? I know I do. Too many, some might say, although I’ve tried to never let public opinion dictate my behavior. It’s not like I need a special room for all my hats or anything. It’s just easier that way. I was starting to run out of boxes.

I think, all things being equal, the fedora is probably my favorite type of hat. Famous people around the world have worn fedoras, and although I can’t think of any of their names right now, it’s comforting to know that they’re out there. Hiding. In the dark. Probably with knives. Incredibly sharp and comforting knives.

Hats, too, should be comforting, and they should fit snugly atop your head. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I see it. Whatever else you might say about them or whatever plots you might secretly suspect them of hatching late at night in the closet when you aren’t looking, even if they are just hats fedoras are certainly capable of that much. They can fit easily atop a person’s head, as if they were designed for that very purpose. I don’t know much about the history of hats, or of fedoras in particular, but I’ve seen people wear them and I’ve even worn a few myself. So believe me, I know what I’m talking about here.

You can walk down the street wearing a fedora and people will say, “there goes a man (or a woman) who knows what he (or she) likes, a man (or a woman) for whom comfort is important, a man (or a woman) who even now is wearing a soft felt hat with a fairly low crown, creased lengthwise, and a brim that can be turned up or down, depending upon his (or her) mood.”

And that’s just nice to know.

Also nice is the pith helmet, but I seem to run out of room.