Yes, you really would. But:

• The New York Daily News¹:
  

  President Bush has quietly claimed sweeping new powers to open Americans’ mail without a judge’s warrant, the Daily News has learned.

• Yahoo News²:
  

  The Pentagon has abandoned its limit on the time a citizen-soldier can be required to serve on active duty, officials said Thursday, a major change that reflects an Army stretched thin by longer-than-expected combat in Iraq.

• AOL News³:
  

  The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) will allow companies to sell ads inside plastic bins whose sole purpose so far has been to move passengers’ shoes, cellphones and other belongings through X-ray machines.

• The Seattle Post-Intelligencer⁴:
  

  After a parent who supports the teaching of creationism and opposes sex education complained about the film, the Federal Way School Board on Tuesday placed what it labeled a moratorium on showing the film [An Inconvenient Truth]. The movie consists largely of a computer presentation by former Vice President Al Gore recounting scientists’ findings.

• The Raw Story⁵:
  

  “Do you believe as Commander in Chief you have the authority to put the troops in there no matter what the Congress wants to do,” 60 Minutes correspondent Scott Pelley asks Bush in the short clip uploaded to the CBS News web site Friday night.

  “I think I’ve got, in this situation, I do, yeah,” Bush said.

  “Now I fully understand they will,” Bush continued, “they could try to stop me from doing it, but, uh, I’ve made my decision and we’re going forward.”

• Talking Points Memo⁶:
  

  Okay, so we already know that the White House has now taken the unprecedented step of firing at least four and likely seven US Attorneys in the middle of their terms of office — at least some of whom are in the midst of corruption investigations of Bush administration officials and key Republican lawmakers. We also know that they’re taking advantage of a handy provision of the USA Patriot Act that allows the White House to replace these fired USAs with appointees who don’t need to be approved by the senate.

Oh, and remember last year when Stephen Colbert made the President uncomfortable at the White House Correspondents Dinner? Guess who they got to headline the event this year? Rich Little. Honestly, I didn’t even know the man was still alive. It’s a particularly lame choice all around.

Still, I like Mark Evanier’s suggestion:

Of course, if Rich Little has any guts at all, he’ll get up there and say, “Thank you. I’d like to start with my newest impression…Stephen Colbert!” That would make for quite an evening.

⁴ Via Art Machine