In a recent e-mail, a fellow capper asked, “Does anybody in this country *not* hate Valentine’s Day?” I replied, “A few, but they’re being rounded up and shipped off to reeducation camps where they’ll learn that love is *not* a many splendored thing and be force-fed little candy hearts until they cry. Or maybe just shown the complete works of Coleman Francis, which has about the same effect.”

Oh well, happy Valentines Day anyway, courtesy of the Acme Heart Generator. Remember, even the geekiest of us need love.