So anyway, over at Maximum Verbosity, Betty suggests yet another 5-question meme, wherein bloggers interview other bloggers. The rules, which I will now copy directly from her weblog, are actually pretty simple:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying “interview me”.

2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.

3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Sound like fun? Well, I volunteered, so here are the questions Betty e-mailed me:

1. If a tree falls in the forest and there are only fuzzy woodland creatures there to hear it, does it make more of a noise than if there are no animal life-forms in the vicinity at all? That sounds like a koan for people who hate Zen. Philosophers have long pondered the sound of trees falling in the forest…which really just proves that philosophers don’t have a lot to do and should probably find themselves a new hobby.

2. If your life were a reality TV show, what would the ratings be like? The ratings would be through the roof because, like any successful reality show, the one based on my life would have absolutely no basis in reality whatsoever. Events defying both logic and good taste would occur weekly, as would periodic “celebrity editions”, in which viewers would have the chance to decide the outcome of specific events, including whether Corey Feldman should be eaten alive by wolves or by bears.

3. Do you have any advice for young people who wish to become obsessive Monty Python fans? You mean there are people who aren’t already obsessive Monty Python fans? I find that difficult to believe. What are these so-called young people doing? Homework?

4. OK, if they were going to bring Farscape to the big screen but insisted on casting big Hollywood stars, who do you think they should cast, and would you go and see it? Well now that’s a loaded question. Even after having watched two episodes of Farscape last night — I struggled valiantly not to burn through the entirety of my new DVDs in one sitting — I really can’t answer it. I could make a joke — sure, John Travolta as John Crichton or Gwyneth Paltrow as Aeryn Sun — but I honestly can’t imagine those roles being filled by anyone else.

5. Do you know where to find nude pictures of Wil Wheaton? ‘Cause people keep coming to my blog looking for ’em. No, but if it’s any consolation, people keep visiting my website looking for nude pictures of pirates and Steve Guttenberg.

Once again, the Friday Five:

1. How much time do you spend online each day? More than is healthy, I’m sure.

2. What is your browser homepage set to? At work, the Penn State homepage. At home, somewhat pathetically, this weblog. It might be time for a change.

3. Do you use any instant messaging programs? If so, which one(s)? Sometimes I use AIM, but almost no one on my buddy list is ever online or talks to me. (This is also pretty much why I stopped using ICQ.)

4. Where was your first webpage located? On the Penn State server. It’s unclear that I’ve gotten any better at it since then.

5. How long have you had your current website? Since mid-to-late 1999. I haven’t done a whole lot with it since then, though.