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Sometimes I think the only thing that keeps this computer at work running is the fact that I don’t have a sledgehammer to cave it in with.

I didn’t talk like a pirate even once today.

Why do I keep using Kinkos?

Well there’s one thing on which I agree with Sarah Palin and John McCain: a candidate should be judged on his or her record. Unfortunately, their combined record is incredibly clear.

I have to say, when faced with the choice between going to work and lying around watching episodes of How I Met Your Mother, it’s really a no-brainer. I’m very glad I took today and Friday off.

This may be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. “The ’80s didn’t come to Canada until like ’93.”