For a couple of months now, I’ve been writing weekly horoscopes for Completely Different. The first set was easy. Every set after that has been insanely difficult. Being funny in just one or two sentences (while trying to sound like a horoscope and not just copy The Onion), isn’t all that easy. But it has given me a new appreciation for just how truly awful “real” horoscopes can be. They walk a fine line between the insipidly vague and the absurdly specific.

I, on the other hand, look more for bewildered laughter than anything else.