Maggie writes, or quotes, or whatever:
Me: Oh my God. They have individual little snack-size packs of ranch dressing now. Americans are disgusting. Is it too exhausting to pour it out of the bottle so you can dip stuff in it?
Guy 1: No, no. The foil tops make it easier to stick a straw in.
Sure, you laugh, but there’s probably somebody out there right now doing just that. Tonight, in the local supermarket, I saw blue french fries. Anything’s possible.