The new standards say high school students must understand major evolutionary concepts. But they also declare that the basic Darwinian theory that all life had a common origin and that natural chemical processes created the building blocks of life have been challenged in recent years by fossil evidence and molecular biology.

In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.

Can’t convince everyone that your faith-based theory is science? Well then, change the definition of science!

I’m amused — you know, in a depressed, I-can’t-believe-these-people kind of way — by how they refer to their opposition as “Darwin fundamentalists.” Ah, those wacky nutjobs, with their scientific method and their rigorous pursuit of quantifiable truths!

Hey, you know what else? Math is hard. On average, our kids don’t do tell well in that subject anyway. Can we change the defition of mathematics, so that it’s no longer limited to the study of the measurement, properties, and relationships of quantities and sets, using numbers and symbols? All we really need to know is how many cubits there were in the Ark and we’re good to go, right?