Maybe I’m a glutton for punishement. I secretly want people to come here looking for things like “area 51 hooters” (there, I said it again). I look over my referrer logs almost religiously, which is sad, really, since they’re usually very uninteresting and most of my visitors are here by mistake. Occasionally, though, something odd or interesting pops up, and I post most of that at Disturbing Search Requests. Here are some of the stranger search queries that will lead you to my door:
vagina shapes pictures
What’re they, balloon animals? “Mommy! Mommy! I want a vagina shaped like a giraffe!”
www.sexy fish gallery.com
Register now, ladies and gentlemen, while sexyfishgallery.com is still available! Tap into that burgeoning new market for underwater sea creature porn! Ooh, baby…your dorsal fin is so dreamy… Now, I know my weblog is called occasional fish, but that’s just a Neil Gaiman quote, folks, not an invite for people turned on by salmon, perch, or flounder. Oooh…flounder…
world wrestling federation’s funniest jokes
So the Rock walks into a bar… I can’t believe I’m first on Google’s list. Don’t people know you have to put quotation marks around something if you want to find it as a phrase? And why would anyone want to find a phrase like this anyway?
steve guttenburg photos
It’s almost funny. One disturbing search request begets another. What I find most disturbing is that I know my website won’t come up first in a search engine. On Google, I was at the bottom of the third page. So somebody–and I can only hope it’s his agent–is desperately scouring the web for Steve Guttenburg photographs. Of which I, alas, have none.
pregnant political moment
I suppose it’s less disturbing than most (certainly less so than “politically pregnant moment” or “momentous political pregnancy” or “hot naked pics of Strom Thurmond”), but it’s still a strange request. Even more strange is that Google ranked my weblog number one in this search, when all I was doing was quoting The Nation.
website of funny american photographs drunken naked young public
Words fail me. They seem to have failed for this person, too.