Over at jezebel, Heather (or rather Santa) asks, “Have you been naughty or have you been nice?” To which I, being something of a smartass, reply: The word nice is derived from the Latin word nescius, meaning ignorant, which is itself taken from the word nescire, meaning not to know. The word naughty, on the other hand, is derived from the Middle English word nought, which means, quite literally, nothing. Having done practically nothing this year (but having done so in a haze of ignornace), I couldn’t in all honesty say if I’d been naughty or nice. Can we just give me the presents and call it even?