John: Turn around, pretend you’re heading forward.
– Farscape
It doesn’t take much more than a nozzle spraying you, your shoes, and the side of your new car with gasoline to make you feel like an idiot. I don’t know how much spilled, but it was enough. The ground was splashed, my shoes were splattered, and I’m almost certain I paid for more than actually found its way into my tank. It’s a new car, and I’ve almost never pumped my own gas — only twice before, actually — so I was a little worried I might make some dumb mistake. But not so worried I thought gasoline would start geysering from the nozzle in all directions. It’s impossible to stand there while that happens, desperately trying to stop it from happening, and look like anything but an idiot. This is what I get for trusting machines and trying to follow the directions they give me. Where’s a decent Butlerian Jihad when you need it?