Maybe it’s an indication of just how sleep-deprived I am this morning, but I think this may be the funniest thing I’ve read in days.


goldspiderduck
Arrakis as Arrakdoes.

Death speaks:

There was a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, “Master, just now when I was in the market-place I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture; now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there death will not find me.” The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went.

Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, “Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?” “That was not a threatening gesture,” I said, “it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.”

— Somerset Maugham

Once more with feeling (but not much), here’s the Friday Five:

1. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, captioning, acting silly with the Monty Python Society, and to a lesser extent photography.

2. Do you collect anything? If so, what?

Dust mainly.

3. Is there a hobby you’re interested in, but just don’t have the time/money to do?

I have the time and the money, but not the patience and discipline, for jogging or any other exercise. Which is a shame, because I could stand to lose some weight and I genuinely enjoy jogging.

4. Have you ever turned a hobby into a moneymaking opportunity?

Not as often as I should be trying to. I’ve only been paid twice for my writing, and once was for first prize in a sixth grade limmerick contest. I need to remedy that. I need to write more, submit more, and try to get this webzine idea off the ground.

5. Besides web-related stuff (burbs, rings, etc.), what clubs do you belong to?

The Penn State Monty Python Society. I was, for my first three years at Penn State, a member of the Science Fiction Society, but in my senior year evening classes made that impossible, and I’ve never gone back — although I keep meaning to. I’m also an Eagle Scout with silver palms.