Wednesday various

Something Lost in translation

In my continuing efforts to recycle material you’ve already read (or elected not to read by not following me on Twitter), here are some of the Lost spinoff ideas I posted yesterday. I didn’t originate the thread — and heaven knows I didn’t go as crazy with this as I did with those fake Beatles facts a few months ago — but I enjoyed coming up with these. I am, as always, a sucker for a good (i.e. bad) pun.

All of these require some basic knowledge of the show — and a few, in fact, offer some pretty big spoilers for past seasons. So, even though these have already been posted on Twitter (and re-posted to my Facebook page), enjoy!

Dr. Marvin Candle and his fellow island scientists are thrown back in time to coach the 1920s Brooklyn Dodgers in DHARMA BUMS.

Find mysterious plots, nefarious misdirection, and maybe even love — all aboard NOT PENNY’S LOVEBOAT!

Nigerian guerrilla leader, drug smuggler, priest, and now — family court judge! It’s THE MR. EKO CHAMBER!

By day, he’s a helicopter pilot for hire living the easy life in the Florida Keys. But by night he’s — FRANK LAPIDUS, P.I.

Learn eyeliner tricks and other handy island jungle camouflage on RICHARD ALPERT’S BEAUTY SALON.

Where will lottery winnings take globe-treking millionaire “Hurley” Reyes next? Wherever it is, rest assured, HUGO’S THERE!

Can quantum physics lead a football team to glory? Will this TX town accept its new teacher? Find out on FARADAY NIGHT LIGHTS!

Can a weird string of numbers delivered to his doorstep each morning help Hugo set things right? Find out on HURLEY EDITION.

Explore the many festive uses of dynamite in your home studio with ARZT & CRAFTS.

Random 10 12/11

Last week. This week:

  1. “Long Tall Sally” by the Beatles (orig. Little Richard), guessed by Kim
    He saw Aunt Mary comin’ and he ducked back in the alley
  2. “Help Me” by Joan Osborne, guessed by Thud
    Put on your nightshirt, baby, hand me my morning gown
  3. “Trust” by Christine Fellows
    I fall in your arms when your head is turned
  4. “Little Darling (I Need You” by Marvin Gaye
    Only my pillow knows how many tears I’ve cried, baby
  5. “Ulysses” by Franz Ferdinand
    Well I sit and hear sentimental footsteps
  6. “Padre Fear” by Poe
    It’s midnight and I’m howling for you
  7. “Genius” by Warren Zevon, guessed by Betty
    Mata Hari had a house in France
  8. “Dog New Tricks” by Garbage
    Take the simple truth and twist it all around
  9. “Ballad of Sir Frankie Crisp (Let it Roll)” by George Harrison, guessed by Kim
    Let it roll for all it’s worth
  10. “Luna” by Fanfarlo
    They serve it up in cups from overseas