{"id":4473,"date":"2010-08-21T22:34:17","date_gmt":"2010-08-22T02:34:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/?p=4473"},"modified":"2010-08-21T22:34:17","modified_gmt":"2010-08-22T02:34:17","slug":"knowing-is-half-the-battle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/?p=4473","title":{"rendered":"Knowing is half the battle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/81595350@N00\/4912176940\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/farm5.static.flickr.com\/4077\/4912176940_34af6359fc.jpg\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Even though I got up pretty early this morning &#8212; well, before 9 is early-ish for a Saturday, right? &#8212; I didn&#8217;t do a whole lot with the day. I thought I might go see <i>Scott Pilgrim vs. the World<\/i>, but I ended up not. This evening, though, I did watch the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt1046173\/\">live-action G.I. Joe movie<\/a>, and&#8230;well, maybe I should just let the record of my live-tweeting of the movie speak for itself:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>And now, even though I am almost certain to regret it, I&#8217;m going to watch the live-action G.I. Joe.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s starting with trailers for The Last Airbender and Transformers 2. This can&#8217;t end well.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;In the not too distant future&#8221;? Is this MST3K?<\/li>\n<li>You know, with Eccleston&#8217;s Scottish accent, it just might be.<\/li>\n<li>There is no CGI in Team.<\/li>\n<li>Channing Tatum isn&#8217;t exactly what I&#8217;d call an electrifying screen presence.<\/li>\n<li>Is Brendan Fraser legally required to be in every movie with CGI?<\/li>\n<li>I didn&#8217;t think it was possible, but this may be *more* cartoonish than the original.<\/li>\n<li>Oh good. For a minute there I was worried there wouldn&#8217;t be any jetpacks.<\/li>\n<li>Aw, Lil Storm Shadow vs. Lil Snake Eyes.<\/li>\n<li>When the smartest guy in the room is Marlon Wayans, be afraid.<\/li>\n<li>This movie has almost as many unearned emotional moments and pointless flashbacks as it does things blowing up real good.<\/li>\n<li>Oh, they must be in France. They nearly ran down a mime in a beret.<\/li>\n<li>I am sort of wondering when the movie based on G.I. Joe begins.<\/li>\n<li>Oh, the Baroness just made a man lose his balloons. She *is* evil.<\/li>\n<li>Oh good. More Jim Henson&#8217;s Angry Ninja Babies.<\/li>\n<li>These flashbacks belong in a movie where we care about the characters.<\/li>\n<li>A movie with robot sharks under the polar ice caps should be more fun than this.<\/li>\n<li>And shorter.<\/li>\n<li>So, Joseph Gordon-Levitt *can* give a bad performance just like everybody else.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m going to go out on a limb and say this isn&#8217;t a terrible movie. But only because I&#8217;m not convinced it *is* a movie.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s more like a computer-generated string of pure ridiculousness.<\/li>\n<li>The plane only speaks Celtic. Of course.<\/li>\n<li>I wish Storm Shadow had taken a vow of silence too.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;My green screen can beat up your green screen.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Christopher Eccleston would make a good Groundskeeper Willie.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Muhahaha! You and what army?&#8221; &#8220;MY army.&#8221; Yeah, that really just happened.<\/li>\n<li>And of course it ends with a Black Eyed Peas song.<\/li>\n<li>Not with a bang, but with a whimpering will i am.<\/li>\n<li>The movie had a production accountant named Gene Strange. That may be my favorite thing about it.<\/li>\n<li>I did not hate that movie. It was too far beyond dumb to elicit any kind of emotional response whatsoever.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;American Humane Association monitored some of the animal action. No animals were harmed in those scenes.&#8221; All the rest, though&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>How is &#8220;G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra&#8221; not on @rifftrax?<\/li>\n<li>Who could have guessed, when The Mummy first came out, that it would mark the *high* point in Stephen Sommers&#8217; pursuit of realism?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I can&#8217;t claim to have <i>enjoyed<\/i> the movie, but I did have fun poking at it. I would seriously rent the movie again if it was available on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.rifftrax.com\/\">Rifftrax<\/a>. But otherwise, I don&#8217;t think I want to go anywhere near it again.<\/p>\n<p>Otherwise, it was a pretty boring day, hanging around the house, going for a walk, reading some <i>Kaleidotrope<\/i> slush. Just a typical Saturday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Even though I got up pretty early this morning &#8212; well, before 9 is early-ish for a Saturday, right? &#8212; I didn&#8217;t do a whole lot with the day. I thought I might go see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, but I ended up not. This evening, though, I did watch the live-action G.I. Joe &#8230; <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/?p=4473\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[128,4,14,28],"class_list":["post-4473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-cartoons","tag-kaleidotrope","tag-movies","tag-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4473"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4473"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4473\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}