{"id":11183,"date":"2014-03-23T20:52:25","date_gmt":"2014-03-24T00:52:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/?p=11183"},"modified":"2014-03-23T20:52:25","modified_gmt":"2014-03-24T00:52:25","slug":"sunday-54","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/?p=11183","title":{"rendered":"Sunday"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

A quiet day. I wrote this in my free-writing group:<\/p>\n

When he put the beast in gear, it purred like a kitten, roared into life, then just as quickly sputtered, coughed a cloud of black smoke, and died.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s busted,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Frank said.<\/p>\n

Bill grunted, twisting the key in the ignition. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Might\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve flooded it,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Might have done,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Frank said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You check the tank?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153When the hell was I s\u00e2\u20ac\u2122pposed to do that?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d asked Bill. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Barely had time to roll the damn thing off the street. \u00e2\u20ac\u2122sides, you see<\/i> a gas tank?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So you didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t drive it?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said Frank.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said Bill. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nah. Took the boys an hour just to crack the door open, dupe this key. No, we used the truck.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know if it drives at all.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What? \u00e2\u20ac\u2122course it drives. That dumb bastard drives the thing all over town, doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t he? When he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not using that, whadyacallit, Bat-plane or something.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153And you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re sure it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s his?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Of course I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure. Him and the Commissioner were standing right next to it not ten minutes before we rolled up.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153How\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d you know it was the Commissioner?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What? Dude\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got that big mustache, got shot at during the last city parade. What d\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ya mean how\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d I know it was him? Next you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re gonna be asking how I knew it was the Bats.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153He was wearing the costume.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dude\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s always wearin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 the costume. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s how we knew it was his car.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bill tried the key again. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Though it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not like there are lots of other cars look like this.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You check for booby traps?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d asked Frank.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m gonna pretend you didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t ask that,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bill said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Like this is some kind of amateur hour.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m just saying. The last guy who tried lifting these wheels, that Cobblepot guy? That guy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got billions, big operation, and the explosion still took out half a city block.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Dude calls himself the Penguin,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said Bill. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Like I said, amateur hour.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So fine, you checked for booby traps. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re the one said you couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t find the gas tank.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Look,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Bill said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153this beast is streamlined, custom-made. They don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t roll Batmobiles off the assembly line. They don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t include any user\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s manual.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You check the glove compartment?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Frank asked.<\/p>\n

Bill just stared at him, mystified.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You did<\/i> check the glove compartment, didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Frank asked. He reached in front of him and opened it up. The user\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s manual was right there. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re real professionals.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an honest mistake,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said Bill. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just — um, hey, what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s it say about flashing red lights? On the dashboard? If there are flashing red lights on the dashboard, kind of a — I dunno, a countdown or something?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Frank sighed. He undid his seatbelt and opened the car door. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think it means we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re gonna lose this city block, too,” he said.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Goddamn booby traps,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d said Bill. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I knew we shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have out-sourced that key duping to the Joker.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It’s admittedly silly, but I had fun writing it.<\/p>\n

That was Sunday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A quiet day. I wrote this in my free-writing group: When he put the beast in gear, it purred like a kitten, roared into life, then just as quickly sputtered, coughed a cloud of black smoke, and died. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s busted,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Frank said. Bill grunted, twisting the key in the ignition. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Might\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve flooded it,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[28,12],"class_list":["post-11183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-personal","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11183"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11183"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11184,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11183\/revisions\/11184"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}