{"id":10989,"date":"2013-12-29T23:59:28","date_gmt":"2013-12-30T04:59:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/?p=10989"},"modified":"2013-12-30T00:19:59","modified_gmt":"2013-12-30T05:19:59","slug":"black-sunday-aka-winter-vacation-day-14","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/?p=10989","title":{"rendered":"Black Sunday (aka Winter vacation, day 14)"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

This afternoon, I drove to Farmingdale for my weekly writing group. The weather was pretty bad, raining hard, and the visibility on the road was pretty low, but I wasn’t too worried about it until the empty gas tank light came on in my car. <\/p>\n

I was already about halfway there, so I decided to risk it, knowing there was a gas station less than a block from the parkway exit. And I got to that station without any problem. I pulled my car up to one of the self-service pumps, got out and opened the tank, reached for my wallet…and realized I didn’t have my wallet with me.<\/p>\n

Luckily I did have my cell phone. I called my friend (and fellow writing grouper) Maurice and asked if he could drive back a few blocks and do me a really big favor. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have enough gas to drive all the way back home, so Maurice came and lent me some cash so I could fill up the tank. It’s nice that I can laugh about it now, but nicer still that Maurice was willing to do that — and that I didn’t get pulled over or get in an accident without my driver’s license on the way there or back.<\/p>\n

After all that, what I actually wrote at the free-writing group seems almost incidental, but here it is:<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So you want to be a genius,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Teddy says. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Okay. We can pump you full of adaptogens, a whole catalog of herbs, some we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve only just discovered, and we can let the brain take over. We can let your body learn to heal itself, forgive the physical and mental abuses you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heaped on it over the years, and go the whole holistic route. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll think clearer, at least, I guarantee it.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Or,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he says, holding up a syringe, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153we can give you this.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The liquid inside is a thick, jaundiced yellow, and Teddy taps a finger against the plastic cap at the needle\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tip. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll make sick as a dog, maybe kill you. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s killed lots. But it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll also rewrite your DNA, and if you survive the process, one of the perks is increased brain power. I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t kid you, most of the people who take this don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t survive, but every one who does is card-carrying member of Mensa.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153So,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153which is it going to be: forgiveness or illness?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Marcus hasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really thought this through. Teddy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s reputable enough, comes highly recommended; Marcus doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t doubt the man\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s discovered new herbs or that the stuff in the syringe can do what Teddy claims. The people Marcus had to go through just to get this appointment are all the proof he needs that this is legit. But the man\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s still a sales<\/i>man, so while Marcus thinks he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s already made his decision, he feels like he should probably ask at least a couple more questions.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153When you say \u00e2\u20ac\u2122rewrite my DNA,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Marcus says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153do you mean like evil genius lizard people?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ah,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Teddy says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153you heard about that. That was this, I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lie, but the formula\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been refined since then, and Dr. Andersen — \u00e2\u20ac\u0153<\/p>\n

He sees the confused look on Marcus\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 face.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Professor Cobra?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he says. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Of the Evil Snakes Gang?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, right,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Marcus says.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, anyway, he wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t monitoring his intake. Took way too much, shared his needles. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a big no-no. If I had it to do over again, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d steer him onto to the herbal route. Might still, if the those Redemption Society super-hacks ever let me near him.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Uh huh,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Marcus says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153so you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re saying that isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going to happen now?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well…\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Teddy says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153again, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not going to lie to you. Everybody\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s different, but there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s always a risk when you throw alien pathogens into the soup.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Alien path — \u00e2\u20ac\u0153 Marcus starts to say.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah. Ancient Martian stuff. Rumor has it, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what killed them off. In its purer form,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he adds, seeing the worried look on Marcus\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 face. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153This is a lot more dilute, and Martians weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t the heartiest of stock to begin with.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No…\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Marcus says. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s seen the footage like everybody else, that army unit from Mars the Redemption Society accidentally unfroze at the North Pole. They turned out to be pretty easily defeated, but Marcus still remembers how tense those weeks were back as a child. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And this is from Mars?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Born and bred,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Teddy says, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153then cultivated here on Earth, nurtured. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a living thing, and like I said, it might kill you, but if it doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll definitely make you smarter.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This evening, I made a double-feature of Black Sundays<\/i> — first the 1960 horror movie<\/a>, which is a lot of bad dubbing but great atmosphere, and then the 1977 action thriller<\/a> about the terrorist plot to commandeer the Goodyear blimp at the Super Bowl. It’s entertaining, even if there aren’t many real characters<\/i> in it. (Robert Shaw and Bruce Dern do their best, and their best is pretty good.) They made for an odd double-feature, but for some reason I had my heart set on it when I noticed they were both available on Netflix streaming.<\/p>\n

Yeah, I don’t get me either sometimes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This afternoon, I drove to Farmingdale for my weekly writing group. The weather was pretty bad, raining hard, and the visibility on the road was pretty low, but I wasn’t too worried about it until the empty gas tank light came on in my car. I was already about halfway there, so I decided to … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[14,28,12],"class_list":["post-10989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-movies","tag-personal","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10989"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10989"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10989\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10990,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10989\/revisions\/10990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unreality.net\/weblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}