 UnReality: "A dressing made of beaten raw egg yolk, oil, lemon juice or vinegar, and seasonings? Well now THAT sounds like a sitcom!" |
 UnReality: "We'll return you to Alan Thicke, Timecop, just as soon as the lobotomy kicks in...." |
 BuckFifty: Tonight on a very special after school special, "The Floating Head of Death Gets Caught Shoplifting" |
 Artanas: "Ready kids?" Weeee! "Welcome to Dr Jim's Projectile Penis 3-D. On tonight's show *THWAP* Ha, didn't see it coming didja?! HAW!" |
 Artanas: Next week on the Torpranos... "You give Tor big cut time next. Or Tor feed you balls again. Got it? Tor no like cut, but Tor do what Tor need to do" |
 UnReality: "And David Hasselhoff as everybody's favorite genetically-engineered killer plague!" |
 UnReality: "Hi, I'm Carson Daly, and I've seen Jennifer Love Hewitt naked. Pity me, adore me--the choice is yours." |
 ArtMystery: "Hi. I'm the producer, and I was just wondering if you folks could maybe play up the pedophilia angle between Will and Dr. Smith a little more. Thanks." |
 Saltydog: Oh, those feisty Duke lads! What merriment are they stirring up now? |
 UnReality: The spin-off series "Kolchak, Night Rodeo Clown" never proved as popular. |
 Artanas: Tonight on The Torpranos... "You spoke back to Tor. Tor no like attitude. City dump, Tor take you to die" |
 Soozcat: "I'm Peter Jennings, and I'm getting mega-freaky with the meth." |
 UnReality: "Sensory Deprivation: The Series -- starring Neil Patrick Harris as the complete and utter absence of light, sound, and smell." |
 amycamus: "Hi. I'm Regis Philbin. One of these vials contains Jello. The other, Anthrax. Which will YOU choose, on the next Who Wants to be a Genocidal Maniac? |
 UnReality: "So I told the producer the show sucked. He agreed, but he had to have me beaten on general principles. Y'know, union rules." |
 AeonFlux: "So, like, a face that launched a thousand C.H.I.P.S., huh? So you're to blame for Erik Estrada?" |
 Dairai: Drive-Up Gallows: midievel time-saver... next, on Poorly Researched Theater... |
 BuckFifty: Now about this time, Cooter was in whole heap of trouble down at the Nazi skinheads camp, meanwhile Bo and Luke were enjoying some pie... |